I know that the following has been said many times before by many other people, but I feel a need to comment about some Chinese habits regarding food. It seems to me that, in Chinese’s eyes, inviting someone to eat is one of the “basic” forms of hospitality. This can be done at home but is most often done in a restaurant. Now, eating in the restaurant has a few differences from what I’m used to back in Israel (and back in the West, for that matter):

The first difference is that, typically, in China, the meal isn’t on a dish-per-person basis as in common in the west, where usually every person gets a plate with a main course and some side dishes on it. Instead, a bunch of dishes are ordered and are all shared by everyone. Sometimes people transfer food from the big dishes into small “personal” plates, but often the food is just eaten directly from the central plates.

The second difference is drinks. It seems to me that the most popular drink to accompany food is beer. As I remember writing somewhere long ago, Chinese beer is typically weak (about 2-3% alcohol), typically cheap and typically drunk often and in large quantities. Following beer, common options are tea (the tea served during meal is relatively “plain” tea) or just plain boiled water, served hot. Cold water is often carried around in bottles but not usually drunk during meals (at least as far as I could see).

The third difference is quantities. Actually I think this is more an observation on Chinese hospitality than on Chinese eating habits, but whenever I happen to be eating with Chinese they tend to order obscene amounts of food. There is almost always way too much food for us, but to their credit, at the end of the meal they usually ask to take home the leftovers. These are packed in white dispensable food-containers which all the restaurants seem to have. The Chinese consider their Ultimate Responsibility making their guest eat and drink as much as possible so they either keep urging their guest to eat more or just use their own chopsticks to take food from a dish and put it in their guest’s plate. Sometimes it seems that the entire meal is a complex struggle in which the hosts look for excuses to feed the guest, while the guest tries to avoid getting more food shoved into him. One of their “straight out of the book” tricks is asking you whether some dish is good. If your answer is positive, they’ll make you eat some more of that dish. If your answer is negative, they’ll be offended that their hospitality is lacking and might order some more dishes to make it up for you. I found that the best way out of this trap is a non-commitive “not bad”.

This bizzarre form of hospitality is not limited to food, but extends to drinks too - especially beer. Once your cup reaches somewhere around the 2/3-full level, someone will probably grab the bottle and top it off for you. Every now and then someone will raise his glass in a spontanious toast to you, and you are expected to do the same (and of course drink from it). Sometimes he’ll drink it all at once and then display the empty glass to you. You are expected to do the same. Drinking beer involves a second, simultanious struggle in which you try not to overdrink, so sometimes it can be a good idea to avoid it altogether.

An interesting anecdote to end this post: sometimes, when you pour someone else’s drink, he will respond by placing his hand on the table and tapping it three time with his middle finger. I was told a story which is supposed to explain this habit: In ancient times there was an emperor who used to wear plain cloths and go mingle with the common people. When he was eating with his advisors he would sometimes pour their tea, an action to which they should respond by bowing to him. But they can’t bow as this would “blow his cover”, so they devised a replacement in which they perform this finger-tapping gesture as a substitute for bowing. Since then the emperors are long-gone but the gesture remains.